When Ego Hurts Groups

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As a warning to individuals Derek Sivers blogged Ego is the Enemy. I am alarmed by ego within groups, so I commented twice on his post, and wrote him a letter too. With some parts omitted, to stay under 900 words, (plus many silly comments) here are my concerns:

Letter

…omitted…

Derek, I told you once that as friends I would understand if you omitted any of my comments.

I thought you were doing so when my comment, on ego and various government organs, did not appear at first. But then it did show.

At the time, I did some philosophical acceptance of my comment not running. I thought I would share:

…My teacher for magazine writing warned us we each had a personal pet peeve—which we must resist the urge to write about. 

My own peeve, a subcategory of my old-fashioned belief in citizenship, is that the lives lost in Vietnam should not be wasted, in terms of lessons applied. In this I am a minority of one, I know. (Wait, I’m not the only one: Did you know that Terry Orlick’s New (cooperative) Games came out of his analyzing Vietnam?)

In my quirky peeve, I am reminded of George Orwell doing political journalism, Homage to Catalonia. The editor did not like him naming heroes who would be forgotten in a year, if not already. Orwell replied that if he hadn’t been so angry at their fate he would not have written his book in the first place. That book? Still in print, the names still there. …Strange to think we might well have prevented WWII had we supported the republican side.

For me, my multitude of commonplace essays, that “meet people where they are at,” are not my main energizer. Rather, the few “social studies” ones are what most concern me. OK, and the essays about me personally—as I so love attention.

One of my recent posts, about how most people “don’t need to be political junkies,” quoted Orwell on human nature: “Every healthy society must demand a little more of people than it can reasonably expect.” You’re on your own with that one.

…omitted… 


Comment 1

…omitted… Here’s a story: I was working in the field of disabilities, with adults with mental handicaps, working in two settings: both in homes and in sheltered workshops. As a new worker, I just kept silent, as staff in each setting were so negative against the staff of the other setting.

I was silent until I went to college for a program in Disability Services. During my class, I asked the teacher my big question: “Why is there so much bad feeling and disrespect between residence and workshop?” She had no answer.

So I asked my company’s Chief Executive Officer, who replied simply, “Ego.” … I have been careful to manage my ego ever since.

Comment 2

Above, I mentioned ego in places I knew. From newspapers I know that the C.I.A. and the F.B.I. had such fantastic egos against each other that they would not share information to prevent 9/11.

Afterwards, the F.B.I. failed to share with the New York Police Department to such an extent, one time, that the scandal made it into the newspapers: You would have sworn the F.B.I. had been infiltrated by Al-Qaida.

I know for sure about some ego things (omitted from the Atlantic magazine cover story, strangely) that caused the failure of the helicopter rescue of the Iranian hostages.

I once read of a solution: Management guru Peter Drucker was on a civilian advisory board, during Vietnam, for the armed forces… Vietnam involved such things as the Air Force refusing to buy appropriate slow propeller planes, forcing the army to resort to buying helicopters to be flown by warrant officers. Then the Air Force tried to insist the pinwheel pilots all be Air Force. I doubt the army officers’s replies were very gentlemanly.

Should I cry, or laugh about such ego? An Atlantic cover story once noted that by looking at the Pentagon’s budget, procurement, and the equipment given to the Iraqi police and armed forces, you would never guess that the U.S. had been attacked and was engaged in nation building. The Iraqi police didn’t even have enough Toyota trucks, walkie talkies or bulletproof vests. The pentagon egotists couldn’t afford it. (The writer was James Fallows)

I can forgive teenage airmen, sailors and soldiers having ego against the other services. Youth are often callow. But any officer over 21 should have couth.

So yes, to avoid thinking that lives were “wasted,” as the troops said, the least I can do today is “be the change I want to see” by controlling my own ego. I know this can be done because I have done so. But of course I won’t offend your ego by telling you to do likewise. But I might get on my knees and beg.

The solution Drucker noted, in a management book, was a rumour that officer promotions were being made contingent on cooperation, so that (in my words) officers and gentlemen could at least “act as if” they had their egos under control.

Ego at the group level has its place, of course. But let’s beware: As Prometheus said, “It is a good servant, but a bad master.”

Sean Crawford, healthy ego can propel one to comment,

East of Banff

December 2020

Footnote: Derek said he is glad I am writing so much, (blogging) and he would never omit my comment.

I like truth and beauty. Hence I read newspapers and buy art. I dislike social media, finding it false and ugly...
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