One of my favourite bloggers, Derek Sivers, did a piece on four books that changed his life. At the time, I could not clearly remember any, and in my comment I said so.
Months later he send by mass email-out a URL for the same blog, and two others, and this time I had an answer. The mass mail was a good idea, as there have been a lot more comments this second time around. Here’s the link, and here’s my comment today:
… …
My life has been changed by acquiring a code of ethical behaviour from the heroes and mentors in the young adult science fiction books of Robert A. Heinlein. About ten or eleven such books, published yearly from 1947 for the Christmas market.
As well, I was changed by a 1940’s text “Dynamics of Groups At Work” by Herbert Thelen, University of Chicago, which led to me, in my later years, to being a surprisingly (to others) effective chairman of a board of directors of a for-profit company.
Before reading, I had worked around rough outdoor soldiers who deny their feelings, so I did too. After reading, I realized how a group has emotions like a person does, and how as a group chairman I had to balance for the group, like surfing, the opposing forces of fear and desire to advance.
When I am not the leader, my “group dynamic” role is “group central comedian,” to help us nobly relax and face things. (Not like a “clown” who basely helps the group run away —peers can sense the difference) When someone privately asked me (at Toastmasters International) if I was causing laughter on purpose, I said “Yes, you are right, just notice what was being said before I spoke.”
As board chair I would let excited people discharge their creative ideas, without letting us get bogged down in detailed premature planning for those ideas. They trusted me to keep us moving along for practical results. The company is still in business.
I relish being a chair in various situations because then I feel clarity like a sports referee.
Also I read about how a group can have “denial,” like an individual does. I applied this when a person died in front of us at a weekly evening Toastmasters meeting. Our group was not handling it well, so I became “chairman” for a methodical group discussion, with a flip chart agenda, where I gently led us through facing reality, exposing rumours.
I kept my mouth shut, as I could tell my peers were in denial, until someone else in the group voiced an insight that I had already figured out, and then instantly the whole group could see: we had to “get back on the horse” by dealing with our feelings at our usual place and time, rather than hold a special funeral meeting somewhere else.
… …
… …
Sean Crawford
Calgary
August
2026
Book Note:
It was in Heinlein’s 1949 book Red Planet subtitled a colonial boy on Mars, that I first saw Robert’s Rules of Order being used. The boy attends an urgent town hall meeting. I was in college before I understood what I read.
Meeting notes:
Most how-2 meeting books deal with objective things a camera could see, such as agendas and materials; Thelen’s book dealt with invisible emotional frictions that are just as real.
On my old blog, I had meetings listed as a hobby. After any essay that was meeting-related, I would have a footnote: If you want me to observe your meeting and report I will, or if you want me to teach your group about meetings, both business style and Roberts Rules of Order style I will, but I suggest I observe your meeting before I teach.
Naturally, no one ever asked.
Blog note:
Sometimes a dashed off blog comment is as good as a polished essay, at least, that’s my excuse for being lazy today.
I do have essays in the hopper, and my writers circle, for being edited, resumes in late September.
