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Here’s an interlude to my blog pause, in which I don’t post an essay, instead posting my comments on someone’s blog regarding a new science fiction novel (link) where the protagonist is between two worlds, like a Canadian being half Metis and half mainstream. Except in the novel war clouds were forming. I tried not to preach or bang my tambourine, instead preferring humble “I” stories. Except further below in answer to another commenter.
I can contribute.
Once I was a part of two LBGTQ clubs, college and university, who felt misunderstood by each other, and disliked each other’s values. Both clubs knew I was part of both, and neither club asked for my opinion. No doubt for psychological reasons.
My response once, when asked if I was OK (but still not wanting to hear my view of reality) was to respond with negative humour about the other club. And of being vice versa at the other club. And then a lady said in a deep voice, “Sean Crawford, a man of deep loyalties.”
At the time there was a stereotype that cowboys don’t like queers. I might add that US stereotypes have to be divided by ten to apply to Canada, although Canadian people aren’t conscious of that on a daily basis. For example, Canada had gays in the military, and a rainbow army base flag (in Edmonton) for pride month, years before the US did.
One morning back in the 20th century it was clubs day, where clubs manned six foot tables to get new members. By chance, the gay table was next to the rodeo club. So I got to talking with the cowboys, and after we were friendly and I had credibility, I included the queers in the conversation too, without (I think) showing that I already knew them. It worked well, the two tables got on.
It was Barak Obama’s mentor, Saul Alinski, who wrote that young people genuinely expect to like others and to be liked in return. And now that I am an older member of the establishment I still try to keep that youthful optimism—which people of all ages respond to, in me, so I recommend it.
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I was once part of two different groups: Unlike certain ethnic groups overseas, they had not been raised, cradle to grave, to have hatred as a family value.
I was with the campus Women’s Centre (Women’s Collective and Resource Centre) as we crowded in for a meeting. (including lots of older people I didn’t know, not regulars) Folks expressed loud dismay about the campus newspaper, The Gauntlet. Twice I said quietly “I can answer that” and I went unheard both times. It was as if they didn’t want to hear an opposing reality.
As it happened, the Gauntlet was just down and across the hall. One of the subeditors used to shout to no one, “Bitch!” when he was walking near The Centre. I knew the Gauntlet volunteers prided themselves on being nearly the only non-leftist newspaper in the west, because I too was a reporter there.
So I went down the hall and asked the editor, a fellow in his mid-twenties with literally long hair: Would he like to meet some young feminists? Yes.
Back at the Women’s Centre I threaded my away among folks having wine and cheese to ask a few of the younger ladies I knew—none of the older “over thirty” ones—Would they like to meet the Gauntlet editor? Yes. So I led them down the hall to him.
At the time I judged I should not be a part of the meeting, so I went back to the party. Anyways, their conversation went well. They felt heard.
Here’s the thing: When both sides reported back to me, they each worried about how they had been perceived by the other side. Young people can be touchingly sincere.
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FDChief
I think the issue I have with… (regarding America having crazy factions that disrespect each other) So I’m not sure I see how “can’t we all just get along?” really works with this…
Part of the reason for the fiasco of the Iraq occupation was not respecting Iraqis, to the point of taking actions without listening, even though everyone—barbers, taxi drivers, translators, administrators—I mean everyone would have warned an American “Are you crazy? You can’t—”
Another failure was not respecting fellow Americans either. People with years of experience in nation building in Yugoslavia were turned away in favour of fellow party members according to (I think) the book Fiasco. Also the State Department was not respected enough to be a partner, even though they had tons of learning about democracy (Hint: a sound bite is not enough explanation)
It’s hard when your own neighbours and relatives don’t respect you, but you have to try to respect people anyways. Even if it takes them a while to believe you. That value is the foundation of democracy. Otherwise you become an Ugly American before you even leave your house. (yes, I read the book)
So yes, my small part could be to practise respect, by any means necessary.
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FDChief
Re: the comparison to Iraq…what’s interesting is that I draw the exactly opposite lesson from it; that respect has to be earned, not given.
The Bushies were a cabal of known schemers and criminals going back to Iran-Contra. Their “arguments” for WMD, smoking guns and mushroom clouds, were patent bullshit in service of the Ledeen Doctrine and should have been laughed off by the 60% of their fellow citizens who hadn’t drunk the wingnut kool-ade.
But because they were Very Serious People they were accorded respect they hadn’t earned and didn’t deserve, so here we and tens of thousands of needlessly-dead and maimed people are.
So…as discussed above, no. Sometimes one side really IS bad and wrong, and to elide that is, as we have seen, deeply dangerous.
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Regarding Bush, if Americans had respected themselves as citizens more than their couches, they would have done more to supervise.
In the last big war, even though they respected FDR, they still sent teams of congressmen to inspect. In Iraq there were no teams to write up investigative evaluations, only individual congressmen (as far as I can tell from web searching) who, like Ugly Americans in Saigon, had no time to go out to the countryside, no time to talk to low ranking American servicemen.
The book Fiasco exposed Blackwater (armed American “contractors”) as undoing all efforts to win hearts and minds, yet it was years after publication before Blackwater’s shortcomings started appearing in the newspaper.
An Atlantic Magazine cover story by James Fallows Why Iraq Has No Army exposed an angry colonel saying, “You tell me one person in the White House who is covering this war full time!” and James could only find a single obscure woman. Fallows also exposed how the US could not budget to give enough walkie talkies, Toyotas and armoured vests to the Iraq police, could not budget to give Iraq an effective army.
From the pentagon’s budget and practices, Fallows noted, you would not know the US was in two wars against insurgency, only the usual Cold War.
To my knowledge, the citizens did not respect themselves enough to become aroused and insist on change after that article appeared. From their mouths came the word “war” but they did not have the integrity to act as if they were at war.
It was instructive to me to check the table of contents for various Readers Digest during the Cold War with the table of contents during the War on Terror. The gap in interest was very noticeable.
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And then comments were closed, before anyone might have replied to me.
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Sean Crawford, comments from readers can be like conversations where we tell stories to each other,
Edmonton
under the heat dome,
Which is great for late night tourists,
June 2021
