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I wrote to Derek Sivers, after his 44 hours of being podcast interviewed. (link)
Note: If Derek likes to teach, then I like to listen. Because (joke) here in God-fearing capitalist America, we listen when a self-made millionaire speaks.
Dear Derek,
Greetings from the best half of North America
I liked a paragraph in your interviews, or as the kids on social media would say, ”This:”
“Right. You’re right. You just reminded me of the other half of your question. When I hear people say they want to start a business, but they don’t know what to do. I hear it as somebody saying I want to wear a bandage, but I don’t have a wound. A business is a solution to a problem. If there’s no problem, then you don’t need a business – you’re doing it for others. A business is an act of service. It’s a generous act of service for people with a problem, and if the problem goes away, well, then lucky you, now your business can go away.”
Commentary
Regarding service, and good deeds, I am reminded of the man who wrote with amusement that while they are waiting at a train platform, Boy Scouts should should Be Prepared by thinking of what to do if an old lady collapsed: And then the lady falling, and a whole crowd rushing over and getting in each other’s way.
In real life, of course, such “self-leadership” is rare; there would be no huge crowd.
My attitude towards being a leader is like in a basketball game: When I am passed the ball, I take time to glance about in case someone is open for a pass. Never hog the ball. In the game of life, I take time to see if someone is leading, before I take action. I won’t hog, or be pushy to lead.
I am writing to say my pet peeve is adults who say they want to lead, or worse, parents who say they want their children to be leaders—and push the child. Not me. I would encourage my child to have a willingness… for initiative, for doing the right thing, and for leading. In other words, leadership as situational, not dispositional.
When I join a club or hobby or team or business it is partly for the group purpose. If I join an executive committee, or lead a committee, then it is to serve that purpose. As a former Boy Scout patrol leader, I know: To lead “just to be a leader,” is to lead for a private purpose, which can produce private corruption. This can destroy, not build, one’s character. Example: A general in a US supported third world army: During a retreat, the general ordered a private out of a jeep to make space for the general’s personal refrigerator. Any army with such a culture of corruption cannot fight. Swiftly fell Saigon.
Back to parents. Ayaan Hirsi Ali was an immigrant who became a Dutch Member of Parliament. I am sure she was a good leader. Her father was a leader in Africa. During her childhood, the family went into exile in a neighbouring country, so he became a leader of exiles. But Ali’s poor brother? All the surrounding parents kept telling the boy “you will be a leader,” none of them told him to be of service…
No one supported him to think through in what context he was to lead: With democracy? With chivalry like a Boy Scout? Putting the U.N. 1948 Declaration of Human Rights over sharia law? Why to lead? Instead, just “you will be a leader.” The resulting strain broke the boy; leaving him weak, spoiled and unable to even lead a two-man team of dog catchers.
(Weak like the Kuwaiti “leadership class” of rich pathetic young men who spent the months of Operation Desert Shield not in the armed forces, preparing to take back their country, but instead were caught dancing in London discos)
His ignored Muslim sister went on to enter parliament.
I would advise parents they would do well to remember the old army slogan: “You cannot be a good leader until you are a good follower.” I would add that a child could start—after parental example—by “leading herself” in doing the little “follower” things: If you make a mess, clean it up; leave a gate open or closed as you find it; have the self discipline not to litter, respect others by being on time… You know, the basics.
Derek, I like how you and I carry a trash bag on our walks. Even alone in the early morning light, with no peers to see us, we still collect litter. When you are out with your child, you have your bag, and you grumble to him about the losers who leave garbage. You are teaching the jewel of initiative, by your example. If your child ever leads, it will be a natural thing, from seeing a job to be done.
Yours truly
Sean Crawford
June 2020
Epilogue
Another interview quote from Derek Sivers, millionaire:
“That’s part of why I have a problem with the idea of say lifestyle design where I hear too many people talk about like, “What kind of life do I want? I want to be in a hammock on a beach and I only want to work from these hours. I want this and I want that, and this is the kind of life that I want. Why isn’t it working out for me?”
I think, well, it’s because you’re focusing entirely on yourself. On the other hand if you just forget all of this self-pleasuring and focus entirely on others, you might find the world rewards you more. Do you know what I mean?”
