Howdy internet folk, it’s time for free fall again.
Writing with a timer while plummeting to earth is fulfilling, and amazing, like watching a dog dance: It’s not that the dance is done well, but that the dog dances at all.
… …
Writing prompt- political correctness
So there I was, doing all that’s humanly possible— or should I say all that’s mammalian-ly possible, or animally possible: after all, we want to be politically correct, or PC if I may be permitted an abbreviation—I was doing all I could to rebuild the park’s picnic tables.
Every week, a good part of my man hours—I mean person hours— was going into refurbishing tables so they would be sturdy yet beautiful, family friendly yet animal friendly too. And I tried to paint them a cross between pink and blue to emphasize that either sex was fine with the great outdoors—although animals were colour blind, so maybe I was committing a non-PC sin.
It didn’t help that the ranger was named Yogi. “He asked me, “How are your pic-a-nic tables going?”
I said, “Shouldn’t that be pic-a-nic ta-bles?”
“No,” he said “It should be tab-les. But that’s too hard to say.”
I said, “I’m working as hard as I can.” The ranger’s dog was sniffing around. “Maybe your dog can help. I could put a brush in his mouth. And take a picture: Animals for the right to picnic in the parks.”
The ranger shook his head sadly. “PETA wouldn’t allow it. You can work a man like a dog, but you can’t work a dog like a man.”
“I like PETA,” I said. “In a world where all these PC words and phrases keep getting longer and longer, PETA has a short two syllable name.”
… …
Writing prompt– Definitely
We live in such a definite world,
All lives definitely matter—except for ISIS, screw them bastards.
The president is definitely a good guy—except during his re-election year
The senate is definitely good—no one over a certain pay grade is ever prosecuted.
Men of the cloth are good—except around altar boys
Women of the cloth are good—except in residential schools
If you want a babysitter for your boy, stick to lesbians—that is definitely my advice.
We live in such a definite natural world.
Light comes in light waves—except when it comes in particles.
Light comes in particles—except when it comes in wavicles.
And everything is explainable and scientific—except when photons are telepathic.
If you ask any physicists, they definitely don’t understand quantum mechanics.
Hollywood is definitely correct, politically, to make a movie where whites don’t speak for blacks
Hollywood is not correct if whites make a movie without a coloured log-line—as Mississippi burns.
We should look before we leap and he who hesitates is lost. Definitely.
It must be true or my brother-in-law wouldn’t have forwarded it.
It must be true or they wouldn’t have social media written it.
It must be true because the rest of society and society’s media is capitalist running dogs.
Definitely.
Do you believe something alien or surprising to me? If you care about how it upsets me, then you are entitled to tell me.
If you don’t care about me, then I am entitled to not care about you, and your message you rode in on.
If you are privileged with the power of knowledge, then you have a responsibility to share that knowledge,
In this, our definite world.
… …
Writing Prompt going to the mountains
On the mountains off we go
Less on heels, more on toe
Watching creeks and rivulets flow
This is living, this I know
Over on the prairies in a copse of green
Flanking a gorge of critters unseen
Southern exposure and a latitude mean
Foxgloves and cowslips and soup toureen
Big rocks provide a place to rest
Browns, rust and black, like daddy’s chest
Warming in the sun, over gophers blest
I can stand, shout hurray, over a land so blessed
… …
… …
Sean Crawford
in a rich G-7 country with medicare
praise the Lord,
February 2025
This is my favorite post of yours, Sean. I love your humor.