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Below minus 32 Fahrenheit, as my feet squeak through subzero snow, I reflect that there is one thing to break the gloom: Christmas! Such a time for gratitude, a time when Muslims, Jews and Atheists alike may all be grateful that evergreen Christmas trees, Frosty the snowman, Santa Claus, Rudolph and presents wrapped up in red bows—my poor family wrapped using newspapers—are NOT in the Holy Bible, which means: they aren’t Christian, which means: Everyone can say, “Merry Christmas!”
While sipping from my travel mug, with steam coming out of the little drinking hole, with the rest of the lid covered in coffee coloured ice—hey, I’m a sloppy drinker, I admit—I am grateful for my cup: They didn’t have insulated mugs when I was young. What I reflect on is this: Christians, plus the above three groups (depending on where they live) can be grateful for one thing: At least they don’t live here in Canada, the Great White North!
Recently a Canadian with a better attention span than I explained COL-L-L-D on the e-mail social media forum, Quora:
QUOTE
Nadine Giasson St-Amand
Lives in Gaspésie, Quebec Updated 1year
What are some things that people who live in places with brutally low temperatures know, that the rest of us don’t?
When the temperature get at its coldest in Quebec winter (around -25 to -35 generally) you get to experience the following :
When you walk on the road, the snow makes a weird noise. In Quebecois French we say that it is a ‘screech’. When we hear this sound, we need no thermometer to KNOW that we reached -30.
When you talk, you make smoke with your mouth of course.
Metal is dangerous to touch.
Children don’t get to play outside when it is that cold. People keep them inside.
You lose all desire for adventure. This inhumane environment makes you wonder why you wish to go on an international spaceship, to Mars or to another country. You feel like staying at home.
Things are not the same at cold temperatures. Some flexible plastic things break easily, as if they were glass. Your last tablet might be gone if you forgot it in the car. This little poke on the windshield will become a long crack right in front of your eyes.
Some locks don’t work as usual. A locksmith told me to never buy the special anti-theft lock, they are so complicated that they always end in causing big unsolvable problems in the winter. Even normal locks do freeze. Your car lock might freeze or your house lock might freeze then you need anti-freeze liquid in both place or in your bag (because you don’t want to end up with your anti-freeze lock inside the frozen place).
One of the things that doesn’t work as usual is the car! Sometimes it just doesn’t start because it is too cold. If it starts, you don’t know if it will get out of your place. Life becomes complicated.
Your car windshield can get opacified by the frozen mist that is inside the car. This is very dangerous. Special configuration with the ventilator, the heater and the window needs to be done to avoid that.
Since cold places are also not densely populated, your road is a “meeting road” that can routinely be crossed to the other direction, let’s say for overtaking, entrance or by distraction, and you can then easily have a frontal collision.
The worst fear for drivers is ‘black ice’ which is invisible ice that makes you lose control of your car.
Another car hazard is that a frozen highway in addition to a strong wind make your car move laterally easily. A few years ago an important person of my city died that way; her car ‘jumped’ the other way where she met immediately an autobus.
Some lakes can be crossed with a car. People watch the thickness of the ice and prepare a special ‘winter road’ called an ice bridge.
Again about the cars: we get 3 kinds of tires: summer tires, winter tires, and studded tires (spiked tire). Summer tires are of course forbidden from a certain date to a certain date.
The St-Lawrence river welcomes some winter fishing through the ice, with a little house that you bring with you. We call this ‘petits poisson de chenaux’ (small fish of the channel ?) – the real name of the fish is poulamon.
When the spring comes, I remove my coat and all clothes – go out in a t-shirt or summer dress – at the same temperature where I was freezing to death in the fall – so at +10 degrees I feel like summer. Why? We adapt through the winter to the temperature and it happens at the coldest especially. Two biological factors help this: we change our proportion of unsaturated fat in our extremities, and we change our amount of brown fat around the heart.
If we get used to it then that does not apply from one winter to the other. We never get used to the winter, because the very hot summer removes all our protections. I guess we would need to migrate to the north for the summer to stay ready!
Frostbite is a real quick way to lose a body part like a toe or a finger. It doesn’t happen in hour but in minutes and seconds. Even a small glove can prevent the action from happening in a matter of seconds. I got one once even if I am biologically adapted to the climate because of a small and short error. I was lucky that it reverted back to normal skin and finger but it could have been fatal for my finger. My bone was affected.
Wool is the best. Layers too. Both together rocks. Please stop sending us clothes with false wool (in the international stores). You make children suffer.
In fact, only clothes made by people from the north are worthy for the cold season. Boots made in South Asia are very cute but don’t last 2 days without making our feet suffer. They look warm but they are not. You need to live with the snow to be able to create useful clothes I believe. The problem is that our stores are literally flooded with those good-looking not-warm clothes at a good price for the population. People get caught every year: new-comers, old people, non-careful people, young inexperienced people, poor people, etc.
Freezing is the only real true suffering. It is comparable to medieval torture. Being hungry is a park walk compared to that.
Drinking alcohol will make you feel better and warmer but make you lose your heat. In fact, some tourists get hypothermia that way at the Carnaval de Quebec.
Butterscotch fudge and maple syrup do exist to help us though!
UNQUOTE
… …
I remember the first time—scared and frustrated—I kept getting ice on the inside of my windshield as I drove. I forget how I coped (probably risked frostbite with open windows) but I remember going to my neighbourhood mechanic with a sketch of all the controls on my dashboard; he told me how to set things up.
… …
… …
Sean Crawford
Grateful that
at least I’m not a traffic cop in Alaska,
December
2022
