Meetings using Chairs

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My lesson of last week is: If you going to have a meeting, sit down! More specifically, if you are going to work together on a project, then have a meeting first... sitting down.

The opposite of this wisdom is to discuss by standing in the hallway: tried that, wept the tears. (I've also tried the telephone.)

Of course, many folks hate meetings. Judging by comments on the web, many people are savagely bitter- they say some folks would rather have a root canal than attend another meeting at work. And so I have read, in a couple of places, the advice to use a trick: to "have meetings around a table with no chairs." Then, goes the wisdom of the writers, people will hold their meetings swiftly and efficiently.

I am doubtful. Sure, this could work if a meeting is for a briefing, or to share information or allocate resources. In other words, if the meeting is using the "left brain." I remember an army company commander who would have us healthy soldiers standing in a circle, and get things done, clearly, to everyone's satisfaction. We would see that department A needs to speed up to help B, that widgets needed by C are still stacked near the loading dock, and so forth.

However, an army is unique, being in existence to get things done right, even when exhausted and stressed, rather than being focused on getting the right things done, things new and unprecedented. An army doesn't use the "right brain."

Any corporation where people hate meetings, it seems to me, is a corporation lacking a lot more than just advice on how to have a meeting- and such a corporation, just like the army, is probably lacking in creativity as well. The best time to "learn" to have good meetings, then, is when people are being screened and hired and when the corporate culture is being set. In other words, as Peter Drucker would advise, the executives need to be secure and humble servants. I am reminded of something that psychology professor Jess Lair in Wyoming once explained. He said the tragedy of bad teachers is that they know what good teaching is, they just can't do it. Just as some can't make use of advice on meetings.

It was "time" which tempted me and my co-workers to meet in the hallway, or for one fellow to come in to briefly stand while others were sitting: we had a severe lack of time. We forgot the sad folk wisdom: if you don't have time to do it right, you will need plenty of time to fix your mistakes.

A group presentation to staff is not a meeting, but the group does require a meeting first using chairs.

My week was grim. (Cue the no nonsense theme music of the police show Dragnet: "dummm dee-DUM dum.") First we had experienced presenters parachuting in (one late, one last minute) to do a group workshop presentation without us meeting first, not even just before the presentation. (Nor could we delay the presentation in order to meet briefly, as our sargeant-at-arms type person was absent, so we already had to delay to organize materials.) This meant we couldn't share any "obvious" no-need-to-state-them expectations, nor could we get "grounded." At least we were able to accomplish our presentation aims, albeit in a drab mediocre way.

Two days later came a meeting where I learned -too late!- that "first time" people had far, far different ideas than I did about our meeting roles. I was licked before I started. As on Dragnet, I will avoid details "to protect the innocent."

If we can sit down before taking action, and feel "present" and make eye contact then stuff may have time to arise. The "obvious" assumptions will somehow one by one be given a perception check. We build trust. We get in sync. But that's not all. I am reminded of a scene in the book Freddy the Detective where Bessie the cow, nice but not very bright, suddenly says something very wise and important. She beams and says something like, "Wow! Sometimes I am just talking away and something just pops out!" Many years later, as an adult, I can see how the reason for Bessie's amazing success was that she was relaxed. Plain folks like her cannot generate any wisdom when under pressure. Nor can I.

In a conversation or a meeting, if things are going along O. K., then, like Bessie, I find myself coming up with a few creative things. And then it's so neat to watch people get energized. My peers see me as very creative. That may be, but I can say with assurance that I won't be creative in a meeting if I am under any pressure, including the pressure of time. If others or myself have to keep looking at the clock with a furrowed brow then you can forget it- my subconscious takes a hike, takes all my furniture and leaves my basement empty.

If the best meetings avoid pressure then it follows that the very best meetings - which are normal where I work - have a conversational tone, with people just being themselves... as opposed to insecure people spouting off like self-important businessmen in some Hollywood movie. I often want to ask such people: "Are you trying to impress others or yourself?"

The problem with having our "meetings" in the corridor, as part of our lack of time, is that old ego thing. We make the best of a bad situation, time-wise, by kidding ourselves that we and our highly trained peers are all fine people who all know what we are doing. I hate to tell my ego this but- we do know and we don't know. Even golf champion Tiger Woods meets often with his coach- and I'm sure they don't rush. The philharmonic folks meet with their conductor during easy rehearsal not just to get their instruments in tune but to get their spirits in sync.

This week I have learned a lesson: next time I have an opportunity to volunteer for a special group project I won't say "yes." Instead I will ask, "Would we have a chance to all meet first (sitting down) without time pressure?" If "no," then I will honestly reply that my team can't really spare me. "Maybe next time" I will say. Because, believe me, at work? I don't ever want to hear that Dragnet music again.

Sean Crawford

Ides of March,

2009

Update, three months later:

Severe restaints -of time and motivation- have meant that history has repeated; I again grind my teeth. I guess essays like this are to help me repeat my mistakes less often.

Another sad update, six months later:

A credible person asked me to join a project and I reverted to old behaviour patterns: I assumed the person would know we needed to initialy meet for more than a "few minutes." Time passed. I kept wondering when my colleague would be free to meet. Today, while literaly standing in the hallway, we both got hot under the collar about project assumptions: ...I confess I have the concept of "Pull teeth and make the other person meet" but I don't yet have it internalized. It's like learning the concepts of "assertiveness" in a mere one weekend course, a course that is too short to allow time to internalize by practising. I only figured out what was truly wrong, by connecting various dots, during my drive home. ...This time I've learned my lesson, right?

Solution:

I telephoned. I said I can't give any snap answers (and any previous snap answers don't count) until our "inititial meeting" when we could "put our heads together" to decide what is realistic and have time to check assumptions. This plan worked well, like peaches and cream... or, as Sarah Connor would say in the harsh years after Judgement Day, like carrots and apples.

footnote:

You may recall that I touched on meetings in my essay Intentions and Default Behaviors where I was part of a holistic start up company.

The director and I had created a job interview meeting agenda. Using this agenda we met and explained "being holistic" to candidates for jobs of leading our outdoor programs. At the end of the interview we had the candidates write up in our presence (we did so too) a program using our new holistic principles as we had just explained to them. Candidates were always really keen and energized about doing this....

Earlier, the idea to write a program during the interview had popped out of my head as the director and I met in person. I had then gleefully reminded her, without crudely saying, "I told you so!" that she had wanted to create our agenda (for the interview) with me over the telephone (with no ideas popping out). Yes, she's a busy lady, but- We are so glad she let me have my own way on meeting her in person.